Seeking joy..

… in every step and/or pedal stroke, and FINDING IT!

This was such a great weekend. The weather was perfect, Joel was so supportive and helpful on the ride Saturday, and I ran on the dreadmill Sunday and got the benefit of those glorious endorphins. Add to that the joy of watching Hunter and Nicholas running around the yard like little crazy people Sunday morning, and I don’t know how it could have been any better. Seriously, it was just about perfect. [hmmmm.. of course, now I’m wondering if I left clothes in the laundry for the nanny to find! ack!! yea, doing laundry puts a damper on things, but hey, maybe I didn’t start any and will get to do it tonight?? that’s better than the thought of our wonderful caregiver having to find my undies in the washing machine!]

Saturday’s ride was 41.4 miles in Columbus. See the map here. I’ve decided that my earlier boasting to a couple I met on the Cat Springs ride about how I didn’t mind the uphill bits but the downhill ones were the frightful parts for me was nothing but novice-talk! N-O-V-I-C-E-T-A-L-K!!! I’ve learned to love the speed of going downhill, and I maxed out at 38.8 mph this weekend! woohooooo!!!!!

As for the uphill climbs, especially the long, slow tedious ones, there’s not much to say about them except “ouch!” Good grief, I actually had to come out of the saddle on one of them. Talk about burning the glutes!! I did, however, see other folks who had to walk their bikes up the same hill, so it could have been worse, I suppose.

Sunday’s run was inside since I wasn’t really sure how far I wanted to go, and I was certain I needed to get downstairs and do some ab work on the ball. I ran 1 mile (no walking – go me!), walked 1/8 mile, and ran another mile (no walking!). This, too, seems very novice, I’m sure. I’m okay with that.

In talking to Joel on Friday evening, I realized that I don’t have any desire to be an elite athlete (yea, like that’s a huge surprise to anyone that reads of my sporadic attemps at athleticism! haha). I simply want to do fun stuff. I want to be healthier. I want to pattern good habits for my kids. My running and riding won’t save the world, but if it puts a smile on my face, it’ll go a long way toward making life more pleasant for the people around me. Having him better understand my goals and why he shouldn’t push me toward goals that are NOT mine is a huge step forward for us. I have to give him credit – he really listened to me when we talked. He HEARD what I was saying. The whole conversation began because he wanted to let me know he’d try to be more “tolerant” of my weaknesses this weekend. That might seem a bit odd, but he’s been pushing me to achieve what he thinks I can – and who knows, maybe it’s possible? But the result has been that it’s made me feel attacked and subsequently, angry, and I’ve been ready to throw up my hands and walk away from it. Things have been tense and I haven’t enjoyed the experiences like I’d like to.

I do think I shocked him when I said I wanted to do the long rides, but I’ll go at my pace (and he can go at his much quicker one – I don’t want to hold him back) and probably stop and take pictures along the way. He got this dumbfounded look on his face and explained that the people he knows who ride do it to go train and then get home. Okay, good for them. They compete. This is part of a regimen for them. I’m not competing, and I don’t want to. My work life is so stressful and I compete so hard to be *elite* there that I want some place to just have fun. Running and riding is that place for me now. Thanks to Joel’s finally understanding and accepting my approach to it all, it was even more fun than I’d imagined. To his credit, I don’t think I’d ever tried to tell him what I hoped to get out of this. We really screw up the communication bit of our marriage sometimes, but boy, when we get it right, we do it so well!

I love my husband. He’s a good guy (and he’s pretty hot in his cycling gear!)

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